Steven P. BarrettTHAT DOES IT, I'M RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT, AND WAIT'LL YOU SEE MY TAX PLANS!
August 5th 2008 22:44
By Really Long Link
WOW, IF THAT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE THE REAL THING. JUST LOOK AT THAT WWW. ETC. FOR MY NEW BYLINE. SURE LOOKS IMPRESSIVE. THAT'LL CHANGE THINGS UP.
BUT LET ME TELL YOU WHAT'S NOT IMPRESSIVE. WE'VE GOT LOTS OF PEOPLE HOARDING SODA CANS, AND GLASS AND PLASTIC BOTTLES NEEDED FOR RECYCLING.
Really Long Link
AT LEAST THE SODA AND BEVERAGE INDUSTRY WANTS TO SEE 'EM ALL COME BACK TO BE GROUND-UP, SLASHED AND SMASHED INTO WHATEVER THEY USE TO MAKE 'EM ALL OVER AGAIN. PROFITS HAVE TO BE RECYCLED, TOO.
DON'T FORGET THE DENTISTS LOBBY. THEY HAVE A SPECIAL INTEREST IN SEEING WHAT ALL THOSE SUGAR-FILLED SODAS CAN DO TO OUR KIDS' CHOMPERS. AND OF COURSE, HOW COULD I FORGET THE FAT DONATION GIVEN TO MYCAMPAIGN COFFERS OR WAR CHEST BY THE CHOMPERS BENEVOLENT SOCIETY.
I HEARD SOME DISTURBING NEWS ABOUT A FEW FATCATS TROLLING THE STREETS OF OUR COUNTRY, NOT TO MENTION RURAL ROADS LOOKING OUT FOR FREEBIES ON THE HIGHWAY.
Y'HEAR THIS? THESE BUMS ARE ACTUALLY GOING OUT AND SCROUNGING UP ALL THE AVAILABLE BEER CANS THROWN OUT CAR WINDOWS AS SOON AS SOME SMART ALECKY TEEN CATCHES A SET OF BLUE FLASHING JELLY BEANS APPROACHING HIS TAIL AT A FAST CLIP.
AND I HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTEN AROUND TO THOSE BUMS CAPITALIZING OFF OF CANS FALLING OUT OF UNSECURED GARBAGE BAGS AND CONTAI NERS (WHERE THEY WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE TOSSED IN THE FIRST PLACE.)
DO YOU REALIZE WHAT A NATIONAL SECURITY PROBLEM THAT COULD BE? BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, EVERY "MASKED BANDIT" POSSUM WI LL BE SCROUNGING AROUND LOOKING FOR WAYS TO PERMANENTLY POLLUTE EVERY HOME IN THE GOOD OL' US OF A AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, WE'LL BE A REAL THIRD WORLD TRASH CAN.
WE NEED A CAN-DO ATTITUDE ABOUT SOLVING THIS HOARDING PROBLEM BY A BUNCH OF BUMS DRIFTING THROUGH OUR NEIGHBORHOODS TAKING MORE MONEY OUT OF OUR POCKETS THAN THE GOVERNMENT OR CHINESE IMPORTS.
WE'RE GONNA PULL WHAT THAT JUNIOR SENATOR FROM A MIDWESTERN STATE THOUGHT WAS SO DANDY AND TAX THE LIVING HELL OUT OF ANYONE TRYING TO CAPITALIZE ON ALL THOSE EASY NICKELS AND DIMES THEY'RE FILCHING OFF THE REST OF US. IT'S TIME FOR A CHANGE, N' BEHOLD -- I GOT THAT STRAIGHT FROM HIGHER SOURCES! DON'T BELIEVE ME? CHECK THOSE CLOUDS, FOLKS AND JUST TRUST ME!
Hmmmm, where have we heard this before?
WOW, IF THAT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE THE REAL THING. JUST LOOK AT THAT WWW. ETC. FOR MY NEW BYLINE. SURE LOOKS IMPRESSIVE. THAT'LL CHANGE THINGS UP.
BUT LET ME TELL YOU WHAT'S NOT IMPRESSIVE. WE'VE GOT LOTS OF PEOPLE HOARDING SODA CANS, AND GLASS AND PLASTIC BOTTLES NEEDED FOR RECYCLING.
Really Long Link
AT LEAST THE SODA AND BEVERAGE INDUSTRY WANTS TO SEE 'EM ALL COME BACK TO BE GROUND-UP, SLASHED AND SMASHED INTO WHATEVER THEY USE TO MAKE 'EM ALL OVER AGAIN. PROFITS HAVE TO BE RECYCLED, TOO.
DON'T FORGET THE DENTISTS LOBBY. THEY HAVE A SPECIAL INTEREST IN SEEING WHAT ALL THOSE SUGAR-FILLED SODAS CAN DO TO OUR KIDS' CHOMPERS. AND OF COURSE, HOW COULD I FORGET THE FAT DONATION GIVEN TO MYCAMPAIGN COFFERS OR WAR CHEST BY THE CHOMPERS BENEVOLENT SOCIETY.
You Call That Working?
I HEARD SOME DISTURBING NEWS ABOUT A FEW FATCATS TROLLING THE STREETS OF OUR COUNTRY, NOT TO MENTION RURAL ROADS LOOKING OUT FOR FREEBIES ON THE HIGHWAY.
Y'HEAR THIS? THESE BUMS ARE ACTUALLY GOING OUT AND SCROUNGING UP ALL THE AVAILABLE BEER CANS THROWN OUT CAR WINDOWS AS SOON AS SOME SMART ALECKY TEEN CATCHES A SET OF BLUE FLASHING JELLY BEANS APPROACHING HIS TAIL AT A FAST CLIP.
AND I HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTEN AROUND TO THOSE BUMS CAPITALIZING OFF OF CANS FALLING OUT OF UNSECURED GARBAGE BAGS AND CONTAI NERS (WHERE THEY WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE TOSSED IN THE FIRST PLACE.)
DO YOU REALIZE WHAT A NATIONAL SECURITY PROBLEM THAT COULD BE? BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, EVERY "MASKED BANDIT" POSSUM WI LL BE SCROUNGING AROUND LOOKING FOR WAYS TO PERMANENTLY POLLUTE EVERY HOME IN THE GOOD OL' US OF A AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, WE'LL BE A REAL THIRD WORLD TRASH CAN.
WE NEED A CAN-DO ATTITUDE ABOUT SOLVING THIS HOARDING PROBLEM BY A BUNCH OF BUMS DRIFTING THROUGH OUR NEIGHBORHOODS TAKING MORE MONEY OUT OF OUR POCKETS THAN THE GOVERNMENT OR CHINESE IMPORTS.
WE'RE GONNA PULL WHAT THAT JUNIOR SENATOR FROM A MIDWESTERN STATE THOUGHT WAS SO DANDY AND TAX THE LIVING HELL OUT OF ANYONE TRYING TO CAPITALIZE ON ALL THOSE EASY NICKELS AND DIMES THEY'RE FILCHING OFF THE REST OF US. IT'S TIME FOR A CHANGE, N' BEHOLD -- I GOT THAT STRAIGHT FROM HIGHER SOURCES! DON'T BELIEVE ME? CHECK THOSE CLOUDS, FOLKS AND JUST TRUST ME!
Hmmmm, where have we heard this before?
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Comment by S.L.
The Political Brief
Comment by Anonymous
As for that cyclist, he ought to be checked out for 'roids. You've gotta have something in your veins besides Red Bull flowing through 'em to pull that kind of load.
I feel bad for the poor guy now. Yeah, that IS working, especially if he lives in very hilly terrain!
I dunno know about you, but I'm getting a feeling that Obama peaked already, but he's probably the only non-incumbent candidate to wow a huge crowd of non-voters overseas and peaking at the same time, in July no less. He's got a long, long fall ahead. For his sake he'd better not take any advice from a former guv of mine with initials, MSD.
What do I know? I'm just a CAN-didate.
Comment by S.L.
The Political Brief