Steven P. BarrettOMIGOD -- I THINK I JUST SAW OBAMA WALK ON WATER! (LINK)
July 12th 2008 06:05
Steven Barrett
Have I seen the Second Coming and missed it? Has my crusty cynicism overtaken my inner soft n' cuddly wanna-believe-every-great-thi ng-said-about-the-nation's-ne w-messiah? Look, if Oprah says this guy will lead us all to a promise land of some kind, I'd better get with it, right?
If you haven't seen this yet, take a look at this bog Is Barack Obama the Messiah? -- then take some aspirin for the pain your (saddlebag) sides and the sides of your mouth will have from cracking up. This is one of THE funniest political blogs I've come across.
Why, I've never seen such shameless propaganda parodied with such expert precision in years. They people who created this blog certainly got up real early in the morning to pull it all together as the campaign proceeded. And they really had a great BS detector working.
Just let me share with you some of the biggest gushers of compost:
Quite frankly my dear New Agers -- after reading just this list of collected nonsense -- I won't give a damn about this latest new messiah. I'll find more meaning out of listening to ol' George Jones singing "Think I'd rather sit here and drink" and just pretend I didn't even think of Obama walking on water, much less a guy like him becoming president.
But Lordy, what if I'm wrong? Well, I don't drink anymore; but listening to Jones at his worst still beats listening to Obama at his best
You've gotta see the list of my kind of people, the real bona-fide "heretics and unbelievers." They still have their minds intact, and most likely their eternal souls as well. .
Have I seen the Second Coming and missed it? Has my crusty cynicism overtaken my inner soft n' cuddly wanna-believe-every-great-thi ng-said-about-the-nation's-ne w-messiah? Look, if Oprah says this guy will lead us all to a promise land of some kind, I'd better get with it, right?
If you haven't seen this yet, take a look at this bog Is Barack Obama the Messiah? -- then take some aspirin for the pain your (saddlebag) sides and the sides of your mouth will have from cracking up. This is one of THE funniest political blogs I've come across.
Why, I've never seen such shameless propaganda parodied with such expert precision in years. They people who created this blog certainly got up real early in the morning to pull it all together as the campaign proceeded. And they really had a great BS detector working.
Just let me share with you some of the biggest gushers of compost:
Obama Conversion Stories
"An Attuned Being with Powerful Luminosity and High-Vibration Integrity who will actually help usher in a New Way of Being"
-- Mark Morford
"Does it not feel as if some special hand is guiding Obama on his journey, I mean, as he has said, the utter improbability of it all?"
-- Daily Kos
"He communicates God-like energy..."
-- Steve Davis (Charleston, SC)
"Not just an ordinary human being but indeed an Advanced Soul
-- Commentator @ Chicago Sun Times
"I'll do whatever he says to do. I'll collect paper cups off the ground to make his pathway clear."
-- Halle Berry
"A quantum leap in American consciousness"
-- Deepak Chopra
"He is not operating on the same plane as ordinary politicians. . . . the agent of transformation in an age of revolution, as a figure uniquely qualified to open the door to the 21st century."
-- Gary Hart
"Barack Obama is our collective representation of our purest hopes, our highest visions and our deepest knowings . . . He's our product out of the all-knowing quantum field of intelligence."
-- Eve Konstantine
"This is bigger than Kennedy. . . . This is the New Testament." | "I felt this thrill going up my leg. I mean, I don't have that too often. No, seriously. It's a dramatic event."
-- Chris Matthews
"[Obama is ] creative imagination which coupled with brilliance equals wisdom . . . [He is] the man for this time."
-- Toni Morrison
"Obama's finest speeches do not excite. They do not inform. They don't even really inspire. They elevate. . . . He is not the Word made flesh, but the triumph of word over flesh . . . Obama is, at his best, able to call us back to our highest selves."
-- Ezra Klein
"Obama has the capacity to summon heroic forces from the spiritual depths of ordinary citizens and to unleash therefrom a symphonic chorus of unique creative acts whose common purpose is to tame the soul and alleviate the great challenges facing mankind."
-- Gerald Campbell
"We're here to evolve to a higher plane . . . he is an evolved leader . . . [he] has an ear for eloquence and a Tongue dipped in the Unvarnished Truth."
-- Oprah Winfrey
“I would characterize the Senate race as being a race where Obama was, let’s say, blessed and highly favored. That’s not routine. There’s something else going on. I think that Obama, his election to the Senate, was divinely ordered. . . . I know that that was God’s plan."
-- Bill Rush
"An Attuned Being with Powerful Luminosity and High-Vibration Integrity who will actually help usher in a New Way of Being"
-- Mark Morford
"Does it not feel as if some special hand is guiding Obama on his journey, I mean, as he has said, the utter improbability of it all?"
-- Daily Kos
"He communicates God-like energy..."
-- Steve Davis (Charleston, SC)
"Not just an ordinary human being but indeed an Advanced Soul
-- Commentator @ Chicago Sun Times
"I'll do whatever he says to do. I'll collect paper cups off the ground to make his pathway clear."
-- Halle Berry
"A quantum leap in American consciousness"
-- Deepak Chopra
"He is not operating on the same plane as ordinary politicians. . . . the agent of transformation in an age of revolution, as a figure uniquely qualified to open the door to the 21st century."
"Barack Obama is our collective representation of our purest hopes, our highest visions and our deepest knowings . . . He's our product out of the all-knowing quantum field of intelligence."
-- Eve Konstantine
"This is bigger than Kennedy. . . . This is the New Testament." | "I felt this thrill going up my leg. I mean, I don't have that too often. No, seriously. It's a dramatic event."
-- Chris Matthews
"[Obama is ] creative imagination which coupled with brilliance equals wisdom . . . [He is] the man for this time."
-- Toni Morrison
"Obama's finest speeches do not excite. They do not inform. They don't even really inspire. They elevate. . . . He is not the Word made flesh, but the triumph of word over flesh . . . Obama is, at his best, able to call us back to our highest selves."
-- Ezra Klein
"Obama has the capacity to summon heroic forces from the spiritual depths of ordinary citizens and to unleash therefrom a symphonic chorus of unique creative acts whose common purpose is to tame the soul and alleviate the great challenges facing mankind."
-- Gerald Campbell
"We're here to evolve to a higher plane . . . he is an evolved leader . . . [he] has an ear for eloquence and a Tongue dipped in the Unvarnished Truth."
-- Oprah Winfrey
“I would characterize the Senate race as being a race where Obama was, let’s say, blessed and highly favored. That’s not routine. There’s something else going on. I think that Obama, his election to the Senate, was divinely ordered. . . . I know that that was God’s plan."
-- Bill Rush
Quite frankly my dear New Agers -- after reading just this list of collected nonsense -- I won't give a damn about this latest new messiah. I'll find more meaning out of listening to ol' George Jones singing "Think I'd rather sit here and drink" and just pretend I didn't even think of Obama walking on water, much less a guy like him becoming president.
But Lordy, what if I'm wrong? Well, I don't drink anymore; but listening to Jones at his worst still beats listening to Obama at his best
You've gotta see the list of my kind of people, the real bona-fide "heretics and unbelievers." They still have their minds intact, and most likely their eternal souls as well. .
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Comment by S.L.
The Political Brief
Comment by Anonymous
But Mother Superior Oprah was right in there and from what I understand, she's got him saying "yesmother" and "nomother" -- only two, not four words!
Is George Soros "playing Pope"?
I just loved that "transfiguration" photo. It's right up there with a picture I saw of a white and very muscular Jesus on the cross busting the cross arms, much alike those horrendous and cheesy "Chuck Norris can do this, that and everything else" jokes.
Well, now we know: Obama doesn't just walk on water, he let's everyone also know he's "present" while walking on water. "Oh Lord, are we headed for Tiberias, or Capernum today."
Thus saith the Big O, "Just let me be present for a while and not worry, for tomorrow's another speech to make, another rubber chicken to eat and another day of fending off Jesse Jackson ... Besides John Kerry's letting me borrow his 'sail-surfing' swiftboat.' He had it delivered from some place called Buzzards Bay of Martha's Vineyard. Wait a minute, Martha's vineyard is in Bethany!"
Thank you S.L. for dropping in and looking at this new kind of "church" I mentioned. Believe me, I might have to do a little spiritual moonlighting just to keep up with the Big O, lest I be left behind sitting byself with old news and feeling just "present" while the processions go past.